Apart from being sickly the last two weeks, I have been approaching today: my 35th birthday. Birthdays are not usually a big deal for me. I enjoy them, hope there is not a big production made and like to get together with a few people and have a few laughs. However, there is something about this birthday that makes everyone (including myself) instantly reflect on how close I am to being 40. Not only am I 35 years old today, but guess what! I'm 5 years from 40! Whee!
I have been feeling this birthday slinking ominously towards me all year. I am acutely aware of everything I have not accomplished at this point in my life: no children, home ownership, college degree, satisfactory BMI, no world travel, no amazingness to me that I thought I would have accomplished by now.
Of course, I am working towards the things I want, but time is becoming a concern. Maybe it shouldn't be and I'm just overreacting. I've been in psychotherapy for a little over a year to deal with depression and issues stemming from childhood abuse that went on for a very long time. There are many hurdles; there always have been for me...but, I know that it could be harder/worse/more difficult.
All I know is that 40 is sitting up ahead of me with my womb, ambitions, and dreams and I'm wondering if I will have touched any of them by the time I get there.
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